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I wasn't born with wings, so I'm trying to make my own
 
Sunday, September 23, 2007  

Well, what do you know? I'm still alive and kicking (although I'm currently feeling a bit more alive and kicked). Sorry for the disappearing act. To be honest, I've been having a rough go of it, and there just hasn't been that much to say that wouldn't be whinging. I still don't have much to do besides whinge, but I figured after a month (!), I might as well post an update.

First - the book. The status is... exactly the same as a month ago. The whole thing went into limbo for a few weeks while a budget matter was in question. That question has now been answered, and for the last two weeks I've been waiting to begin contract negotiations. So, nothing to report on that front (besides frustration). On a more positive note, I'm starting to have more compassion for my authors when they get their cranky pants on.

Next - the knitting. Uh, also nothing to report. I haven't blocked Fleurette. I haven't cast on a new project. I need to start knitting socks for Christmas. I miss knitting. I did a swatch with a sample of some new fiber (more below). I'm kind of astounded to realize how long I haven't been knitting. It's been a rough month.

Third - the spinning. Still. Working. On. English. Gardens. Bombyx. Love it. It's gorgeous, soft, easy to spin. And I'm really frickin' tired of spinning it. But it will make something magnificent if I ever happen to finish it. But while I spin that, I have been getting some high-quality shopping in! Last month Mark and I celebrated our 11 year (yes, 11 - high school sweethearts) anniversary. Neither of us felt like we really needed anything right now, and we're really focused on saving for the house, so we decided to each put aside a certain amount of money for something fun/luxurious either for the house, or for ourselves once we are house-poor. But, we did want to give each other a little something, and Mark's present to me was fiber (he's a keeper). I've been wanting to try a certain vendor on Etsy, Loop, so I got one of her "You Choose" packages. I tried Lavendar Mint Tea, Whimsical, and Spike's Twin. Each one has gorgeous colors and is nicely prepared. I spun and knit a sample of Whimsical and I love it. It creates such pretty, subtle color combinations. Very different from what I've been working with lately - painted rovings. Sampling her work has me even more excited for my fiber prep class at SOAR. I can't wait to just go buckwild on a drum carder!


In case you're wondering, I got Mark a flask engraved with his initials and a nice bottle of scotch. I figured it might help him put up with me for another 11 years.

And, last - the whinging. Work is being a complete and total bitch lately. I feel like I'm emptying the ocean with a teaspoon. I've been there almost a year now and I still have so much to learn. For the the last few months, I've had to balance multiple projects, and I'm struggling a bit. Not catastrophically, but it's been hard. Things keep popping up and it seems like there's never any time to work on anything until it is the very last minute. And making a book is such a long process. After a year there, there are still things I'm doing for the first time. I've never had this happen before. Every other job I've had, I pretty much had it all down within a month. I am not used to being challenged and I'm not handling it with any grace whatsoever, which I find embarrassing. I'm managing to hold it together at work and put on a pretty good game face, but in my head it's all crazy, all the time. Most of it is just that I'm a rampant perfectionist with very high expectations for myself. My bosses are happy with my work, but I'm not. How stupid is that? One of my bosses has been in the industry for a long time, she's smart and capable, and she started with this company just before me. She tells me that her learning curve is still straight up and down, too. If she's still learning after a long, successful career in the industry, how can I expect myself to know everything? Here's how: I'm crazy. Memo to Jenni: You're not perfect. Welcome to the human race. Ugh.

Okay, so there's that. That of course does not cover the entire month. There was a vacation, an anniversary, Mark's birthday, the WoolGathering, and lots of stressing out. Good times. Well, actually, most of those WERE good time. And I need to remember those and forget the rest. Tomorrow's another day. Unfortunately, that day happens to be a Monday. Oh well, any day above ground, right?


Comments:
13 days until SOAR! Are the ends of your hair still flame like, or have you ripped it all out in frustration?
 
That's a beautiful little swatch. The colors are so subtle and soft! I'm sorry to hear that you're sick to death of the fiber, though. ;-) But Rhinebeck is right around the corner... you goin'? :-)
 
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