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Email me at:
e-mail address here
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I wasn't born with wings, so I'm trying to make my own
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Monday, November 20, 2006
I apologize for ANOTHER grumpy post. I was totally planning on trying to keep this post cheerful and I had all kinds of little bits and pieces to share. But then... well. Maybe bits and pieces tomorrow.
Anyway.
It's official - I have lost all my knitting juju. I left for Rhinebeck a month ago today and things have not been the same since. Since I cast off the shawl, nothing has gone smoothly. I think perhaps the muse is taking a nap. And reason, logic and mathmatical skills have gone with her. I am so completely frustrated right now, I could cry. While I was closing in on Rhinebeck, there were many, many things I wanted to be working on besides the shawl. I wanted to be sampling all my fleeces to decide which ones to keep and which ones to get rid of (either by gift or sale). I wanted to sample the "maybes" in the stash and thin the herd. I wanted to start new projects. I wanted to do just about anything besides knit the shawl. But I wanted the shawl to go to Rhinebeck SO BAD, so I just kept working on it. When I went to Rhinebeck, I brought my Hitchhiker and Mark's sock yarn with me. I've never made socks for Mark and I've never used Trekking, so I just didn't work up the gumption to start on his socks on the trip. New yarn+new project=too much for my very excited brain to work out. And once I had some fibers to play with Saturday night, the Hitchhiker was not being agreeable and my spindling skills were too shabby to do justice to the fussy fibers I bought (buffalo, the neppy polwarth, etc). So, I wasn't very productive at Rhinebeck.
Once I got back, I cast on for the holiday knits, but both have gone wrong. Mark's socks were going so slow because I am only working on them out of his sight, but I have very little knitting time out of his sight. I finally get some progress on them and by the ruler measurements they should have fit, but they just... didn't. So they've been frogged and I haven't had a chance to restart them. Mom's socks seemed to be going smoothly (if slowly) until tonight but then, blammo. The knit goddess smites me. The first sock is done and I cast on tonight for the second and for some reason I have it in my muddled brain that 34+34 will SOMEHOW = 64. WTF? So, I cast on the wrong number and finish the entire short row toe before I realize what I've done. Hello, Earth to Jenni, 34+34=68. Blargh. And again, BLARGH. How did I knit this shawl but mess up a sock? How was I able to keep my stitch count accurate when each row was 1,296 stitches when I apparently think 34+34=64? And what do I have to sacrifice to be able to knit again? I feel like banging my head against a wall! Fibery stuff is supposed to be my enjoyment and relaxation. Instead it is driving me (even more) crazy! And it feels like EVERYTHING is like this right now. I feel like I'm working against the grain lately. There doesn't seem to be any respite. This whole sock thing makes me feel like my whole night was wasted. I literally came home from work, made dinner, and knit the toe. And all the knitting was for nothing. I've torn out the toe and I'll have to do it all again tomorrow night. And I feel STUPID about it. I am unable to say "oh well" right now and just let it go.
Please excuse me while I go sit in a corner and hug myself.
# posted by Jenni @ 11/20/2006 10:16:00 PM
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